Was it my fault?
by Sara-x0
Summary: Read and Review, thats the only summary I can say. One Shot.


Alright, this is bascially one shot, something that came off the top of my head...there is no specific charater here, you can basically fill in the the he, she, one, you'll see.. yes its one of thoese.

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He was the one who was a friend, the one whom you knew, but didn't know, the person who was there but wasn't, to his friends he was average, to everyone else they were just lucky to know him.. I guess you could say, but I don't think anyone knew him like I had.

The day was a cold, and we were sitting out on the grounds, you could hear people making bets about who could touch the giant squid first, naturally I wasn't part of that, but he was, he was always acting like he had to proove something to everyone, to show off to make himself noticed, none of use knew why, we thought he just liked the attention, but it was more then that.

It was getting late and everyone had headed inside, the air outside was misty, as if it was about to rain, sure enough it did. I don't think the weather matted much anyways.

The weather was terrible for Qudditch, but still he played.

He was always out there, going out on a limb trying to impress the girls, mostly me, but I had never realized that.

it was to late now anyways.

A few months later things changed, he wasn't himself anymore, everyone was worrided, but I wasn't, I didn't think anything was wrong, I thought he was changing. He wasn't. I had been wrong, I regert it now, every terrible thought I had, if only you had been there.

There was chatter in the commen room, stories flying everywhere, he jumped off the astronomy tower, he used Avada Kaderka on himself, Voldemort did it. I started laughing, yes laughing, he wasn't dead he couldn't die. It was worst then anything I could have thought of, although my thoughts of him were sometimes terrible, I never imaged him to be dead, I didn't think someone like him could die.

The next day, it was quite and no one knew how he had died, if he had done it himself, many people blamed me. It wasn't my fault, it really wasn't...I guess people blamed me because of his letters.

I had recieved a letter, a few minutes before it had happend, but I didn't think anything of it. the letter was so, different from all the other ones he had sent me.

it started out with a greeting, a weird middle and a end.

_I'm here but not, here gone but not gone, _

_you can say you hate me, but I know you will always love me. I guess I can see why you never gave me a chance, all this time I was such a horrible person, I guess if anyone else is to read this, they'll think I did this because of you, buts its really not this is for myself._

_And if you must know, I will never move on._

and then he signed it. It was all so weird, I remember crying, just crying, and feeling like a terrible person, it was all my fault, I did this to him, because I had always pushed him away and now he was gone. It was like some sick prank, a prank that him and his friends would play, a horrible prank. But, as much as I would have liked to believe it was, it wasn't a prank..it was true. He was gone.

But why did I feel the way I did? maybe it was because..all this time he had tried to impress me get me to go out with him, I had really liked him, I loved the way he sounded when I would yell at him, I loved the way he would ask me to go out with him, I even loved the way his face looked when I would say know, and call him names.

He was never mean to me, or any other girl for that matter, sometimes I would feel more like a possesion then a person, But, I would never let him know how I truly felt, now, I only wish I had let him in.

From reading this, I might have sounded like I didn't know him, but I really did. I knew him. I might have even loved him.

But I doesn't matter anymore because he is gone.

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I was just trying something out, so far everything I have wrote for this account has been pretty serious, as is this, but normally I do funny things. expect thoese up soon 3.

R&R if you like.


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